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There’s a new feature on the blog’s main homesite on WordPress where they now post blogs from other writers that might be connected to the topic that’s being discussed. I’m not really crazy about that change happening because you can’t control where your readers go (and as such I don’t endorse any links you may see below this or any other post) but it did lead me to some interesting blog entries regarding pornography and the treatment of women.
In one blog entry, a woman who does not identify herself writes about the pornography addiction of her ex-boyfriend and the effect not only on her but the him and their relationship. She talks about the lies that addicts tell to excuse their behavior, the way women see it (cheating) and the hurt that it can cause. It broke my heart to read her words because I’ve known first hand the damage this addiction can cause and I’ve seen the women broken both physically and emotionally from having been “performers” in those films as well as the women who’ve had marriages and relationships destroyed by it. Porn is extremely dangerous.
I’ve spoken in the past on this blog about porn and how it degrades women and I think because sexually related items are something most churches won’t touch with a ten foot Asherah pole many times Christians avoid even broaching the subject of pornography because of the stigma attached to it. There’s no question it’s nothing but sin on video. Many Christians and many churches don’t even want to mention it’s name because they don’t even want to be associated with it.
Yet the problem with pornography is rampant in the Christian community. XXX Church has reported that at hotels where large Christian conventions are held the purchase of in-room adult movies is higher during those weeks than any other time of the year. Lives are being destroyed because of it and the women in our society are being degraded and lessened in the eyes of millions of men and teen boys because of it. We, as the church, need to stand up against pornography at the consumer level because we won’t be able to stop it through the government and political means no matter how hard we try.
We need to start with establishing in our own minds the way a woman should be seen in the eyes of the church. She is not some kind of submissive slave who should always bake cookies for the youth group or lick stamps for church mailings or be the only people working in the nursery Sunday after Sunday. (I’m not saying they shouldn’t do that if they feel so led but we should not look at women as little more than someone to place there.) We need to look at women as we’re told to do in 1 Timothy 5:2 (ESV) where Paul says to treat “older women like mothers, younger women like sisters, in all purity.” If you look at women like your mothers or your sisters you will find yourself showing them respect in what you say, how you live and how you treat them. This is the basis for how you should interact with women in your life.
Once you establish that not only within yourself but within your church, then you need to take the next step to help those who are struggling with the addiction. James 5:20 (ESV) says “whoever brings back a sinner from his wandering will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins.” We need to provide serious accountability, counseling and whatever else is necessary to help someone truly recover and not just find better ways to hide things from other people. We need to model transparency in our lives in all things because in that transparency there is power and freedom.
Most of all, we need to rely on the grace of God to carry us through in all things.
We need to make sure that we help men fight this addiction before the next woman experiences what this woman detailed in her blog. It can be done, it must be done and the church needs to stop being silent and help the needy within their own walls.
